Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Villainess Soap Company: Mall Santa Smooch

So, I want to start off by saying, I am not an official reviewer. No one pays me for this and I am just a 'normal' like you, trying to stay bathed and fed and entertained and blah blah blah. But I tried this product today and thought I would share.


I had to buy some more bath stuff after I ploughed through the last of my Smooch! samples, provided to me by a very wonderful enabling friend. Ginger Snapped was alright to me but the real love of the two had been Quick or Dead, the description of which can be found here (leather, tobacco, lime, sasparilla, lime cologne, sweetgrass...yum...this is just the notes, btw). However, Villainess isn't currently carrying Quick or Dead since it is part of their Black Label Edition (Limited Edition); it comes and goes, making it even MORE delicious. Not to be thwarted, I perused the very well designed site to see what they had for their offerings and found: Mall Santa.

Characteristic Scent:The pervasive scent of cinnamon buns and cream cheese frosting, underscored with cheap whiskey, tobacco stains, toffee candies and delicious filthy lucre.

This is what I decided to get. I ordered the Smooch, and looked over the soaps to choose what two samples I would like for my freebies (any order of a full sized item receives two free soap samples; I chose Decadence, Scintillating and threw in a Grundy for my daughter as a potty present), placed the order and wham. It was on it's way. In the interim I emailed back and forth with the owner about 'points (Yes, when you buy Villainess items, you get points that can be turned in to acquire other items. One can also get points for enabling a friend and I wanted to be sure that my friend received hers)', and she was very easy personable and made sure my friend did in fact get what she was due. I was sent a USPS tracker for the item and eagerly I waited, rubbing my hands together in anticipation.

It arrived in a cube shaped box; packing peanuts and one of those big plastic balloons padded the rather healthy portion of the Smooch, as well as the three soap samples. I took the Smooch out and it was sealed with one of those paper thingamabobbers, you know the one. I was presented with what looked like thick, whipped cream with what appeared to be actual cinnamon sprinkled on top. It was real cinnamon. Apparently, it is also real cream cheese frosting, with soap in it (this was what I heard from someone else who loves the Mall Santa). I sniffed it.


No, I didn't really eat it, but I sure as hell wanted to. I made my husband sniff it and he looked at me with big eyes and a serious face.

'Can I eat it?'

I explained that no he could not, but that it was made with actual food products.

'So I *can* eat it?'

I don't blame him. Patiently I waited for the opportunity to use this. I placed it in my bathroom where my rather awesome 2.75 yer old would NOT reach it (she loves to get into things and rub them on herself. Vicks Vapor Rub was my personal favorite, though the pomade was pretty sweet) and thought, maybe tonight...that night passed...then the next.

Well, people, tonight was THE night and I have to say, this Mall Santa does not disappoint. I was almost scared to disrupt how beautiful it looked in its container (I know, I'm weird) but I dug my finger in and well...the cream just gives way but stays thick and the sugar scrub is SOFT. Some sugar scrubs, the sugar is too coarse and you can feel it dig under your nail. This sugar gave way and scooped out easily, much to my delight. It smelled AMAZING as I rubbed it in my hands and as I rubbed it over my skin, sugar melted and scrubbed nicely while the cream streaked its lusciousness over my skin. YUM. It reminded me more of homemade cinnamon buns rather than the kind at the mall, and the candy was there. The whiskey was there in the shower (HA!) but dies quickly so don't think a quick scrub before work will have your co-workers raising brows. After scrubbing down with the good stuff and getting out of the tub, my skin didn't feel greasy at all, just soft.

While I was drying off, my husband came in to use the facilities and commented on the bathroom smelling good. He was half asleep and still felt the need to comment.

A few hours later, the smell is not as strong as it was in the shower. My skin still feels soft but the last few weeks have been dry and my skin has taken a BEATING. A few more days of Mall Santa ought to get my skin back to a less reptilian state :D

If I had to give it a rating, I would say 5/5 for appearance, 5/5 for Customer Service 4/5 for smell (I personally would have dug a bit more whiskey) and for effectiveness...well, give me a few more showers and I will let you know. This Mall Santa is seasonal but I wish it would stay around!


Hybrid Hopes said...

lolz at "potty present"

TJ Tarwater said...


Sometimes bribery gets the poop in the potty.