Wednesday, April 22, 2009

How to Cook for Hungry Nerds. Or Your Fam: Pork Roast

I figured today was as good a day as any to post a quick, non-sensical recipe.

Food is very important. It is the fuel that feeds our bodies, it is the thing we (usually) sit down to enjoy. It is a simple pleasure, a reason to get together.

I love to cook. One of my favorite parts of gaming is making food for my friends and hanging out before we break out character sheets or dice. I also love cooking for my family, small that it is, planning meals for dinner and making leftovers for next days lunch.

Here is a quick, easy recipe for Pork Roast. Leftovers can be slathered in barbeque sauce or used for taco/burrito fodder. Heck, even a crusty baguette and some lettuce could round out a ridiculously filling lunch. Here goes.

Pork Shoulder Roast: to be prepared the night before for best results

1 pork shoulder roast, about 3-4 lbs. These are generally cheaper than pork chops and other pork roasts and have a good amount of fat.
1-2 head of garlic, a nice big one. You can add more garlic if you like.
About....10 green olives, with pimientos (the red thing in the middle?)
Coriander..a Tablespoon?
Salt: 2 teaspoons? (I never neasure, these are all rough estimates)
Dried Oregano, about 2 tsp-1 T
Paprika, 1 tsp
Olive Oil
1 Lemon, cut in half
Liquid (this can be broth, water,

You will need a cutting board, a knife for chopping stuff, a knife for poking holes in meat, a dutch oven, a bowl and a spoon.

Mince the garlic, getting it as fine as you can. If you have a mortar and pestle, just use it instead, seriously. Place garlic in bowl.

Mince olives, as fine as you can. Add to garlic.

Add oregano, coriander, paprika, salt and a good glug of olive oil to the bowl. Mix it up.

Poke holes in pork roast with a knife (note: pork shoulders usually have one side that is like a little blanket of fat. This will be the top and should not have holes poked into it), making x's. Make them bigger with your finger and then stuff the garlic-olive-etc mixture into the holes, trying to get the chunks within the meat. Once all holes are filled and all mixture is used, rub your yucky, porky hands all over the thing, including the "top." Squirt the lemon juice all over it.

Wash your nasty hands.

Cover and let sit in a fridge overnight or on a counter for like, a few hours (all the herbs and salt will keep your pork roast from being a germ factory, so don't freak out Though I always make mine the night before). A few days would make it even better.

The day of eating, about 4 hours before when you want to eat it, throw roast into a cold oven, and turn it up to 325 F. In a few hours, your house will smell delicious. let cook at least 3 hours, till meat comes off easily with a fork. Serve with rice and beans, if you're a crazy latin like me, as well as a few lemon wedges.

This isn't a true traditional Puerto Rican pork roast but dude, I write about elves in my spare time. So what?


Hybrid Hopes said...

more foods please

TJ Tarwater said...

Heh, I will try to think of something good and easy I can wrestle into a recipe.